Widower

Zigeuner, Biedermeir, Art Deco, Sibilla type cards. The Widower does mean much the same as his companion card the Widow. Both cards indicate the state of profound sadness.

The deep grief you feel when you lose someone you love, leave long time employment reluctantly or part with a house that meant a lot to you. When a special pet dies or a child leaves home, it leaves an emptiness in ones heart. Or having some medical procedure that changes how you feel and changes your body.

There are many things in life that add up to a compounded grief. Sometimes it’s one loss after another. In this society people are not allowed to grieve. You cannot just snap your fingers and get over it. How does 3 days off work help you to deal with the pain you feel in your heart? By keeping so busy that you ignore or bury your emotions- how does that help you to go through your feelings and to get out on the other side, healed or at least recovering.

The suffering of the Widower is akin to the Widow. The male and female version of grief. Men grieve differently or so I was told when I went for grief counseling during a traumatic period in my life not too long ago. Men tend to move on faster. Is it the way of the jungle? In general, women cling on to the emotions connected to the memories of the person.

I do believe that angels change places with you just when you can’t take anymore or when the heaviness of your cross is cracking every bone in your back.

The Widower can provide the wings of an angel to those he meets. He knows what it means to feel loss. He will never come up with an excuse that he can’t go somewhere -he just goes. Sure his heart might not be in it but he has an understanding much deeper than the Widow card. There is strength in the Widower card, courage and a silence that men know who have come out of combat. You accept it and don’t psycho-analyze the sh*t out of it.

The Widower is a dutiful friend. He will not ask for your help. He helps himself by helping you.