I cried…

The last couple of weeks have been difficult for me and other members of the family. The sudden loss of my mom came with not much warning.
Some people have told me I am in profound shock because I was not able to cry at the visitation, service, or at the cemetery.
I cried before that.  I cried as I held my mother in my arms the morning before I called the ambulance. I cried when the surgeon came out and told us she may not live through the surgery which should have saved her life.  I cried when my mother did not wake up from surgery. I cried as she was dying. I cried so much.
I will continue blogging about the cards but I have to wonder why I did not see this tragic situation in my own readings. The Empress appeared several times.  I knew there would be issues around motherhood or mothering but since dad was ill I thought the Empress meant I would help my mom out.  When you take care of someone you are ‘mothering’.  The only reading which even slightly hinted at any shattering experience would have been the Celtic Cross I did about a month ago.
The 5 of cups was the crossing card.  The Tower appeared in the immediate future.  The Empress fell in the others spot and the Emperor as the outcome card.
My posts will continue.  I find it very meaningful to share some of my knowledge and I am not shy about sharing my own personal feelings about things which occur in my life.
I give my heart a voice through blogging.
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8 thoughts on “I cried…

  1. Dear,
    I am very sorry, and felling in shock when iI read this post.
    The life is very dificult soetimes. I am prayng for you, to have forces to continue with your important teaches for us. To share this moment is very special, and so sensitive way to continue.
    God bless you!
    Sonia

    • Dear Sonia: Thank you for comment. Yes, life is very difficult at times but we are all part of a journey. I am trying very hard to come to terms with my mother’s sudden passing. I was fortunate enough to have held her and she did not die alone. Jozefa Seaqueen

  2. It’s not easy to see these things coming – we have a way of not seeing the signs when doing our own readings, and this could be our subconscious protecting us, it could be that we “don’t” want to see and therefore can’t read the message that lies there for us to see.
    The Tower could be anything, as you know, and I would have read it the same way had I been in your situation.
    I really feel for you and send you my warmest wishes in this difficult time.
    Blessings, Gloria

    • Dear Gloria: Thank you for your comment and warm wishes. I know there will be some challenging times ahead. My spiritual guides will help me.

      I have gone over that reading looking for clues and there was no other way to read those cards. I wasn’t suppose to know at the time of the reading. Did I know on another level? Consciously, I am saying no I did not know.

      When I had the dream of the big black bird while sleeping overnight in ICU I woke up with a heaviness and sensed something was very wrong….

      She died in less than 24 hours of the dream.

      I read Cards to help people and will try to use them to help myself through this process.

      Jozefa Seaqueen

  3. querida amiga, estos momentos por los que estas pasando son muy duros, pero no te martirizes, todos tenemos nuestro destino, y estoy segura que tu mama te esta viendo sufrir y eso no es lo que ella queria, se fuerte,ella estara contenta de verte así luchando,reza a Dios para que la cuide,y quiero que sepas que nosostros los leemos tus sentimientos a veces divertidos y a veces tan tristes, siempre estaremos apoyandote y haciendo que tus dias no sean solitarios y tristes, un abrazo fuerte tu amiga de andalucia Marimar.cuidate.te necesitamos.

  4. I’m so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. She’s now an Angel and among the Angels.

    Its been quite awhile since I’ve been here, so I apologize for not commenting sooner.

    I noticed the night before your Mom passed, you posted about a dream involving a black bird. You wondered about the significance of that dream. Could that bird had been a messenger?

  5. Hi!
    Im a portuguese reader of your blog and reading this words full of pain I feel simpathetic. I know this happenned few months ago, but I wish you all the strength in the world.
    Stay well!

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